I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
