my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He felt like a one man threesome
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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