i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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