where am i from again
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
