I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
