He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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