Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
