i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
