Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Houston, we have a blender
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
