I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
