Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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