do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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