DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize