K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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