HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
