no. you can't hotbox the world.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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