Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
