Me. At least after what I've been through.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize