I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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