Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she woke up with a sticky ear
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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