This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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