fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She told me I should be a condom model.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
