Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
