Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The beers last night were like the tears from god
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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