I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
