Screwed.edu
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
