did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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