I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
