he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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