thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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