I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
