WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
