Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
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