If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
it's like iHOP with fire
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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