so that wasnt chicken after all
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
