I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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