you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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