You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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