dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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