I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
This is the high leading the old right now
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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