my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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