His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
All I want is dick and wine.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
