honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
