Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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