and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
