It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
