Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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