Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
