there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
