If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
