that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
