If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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