They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
