you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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