i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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