I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
