My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I believe in your delicious
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
