It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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