I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
