my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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