He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
