i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize