we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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