i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
