I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
