Plan B is the new Plan A
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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