talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
