I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
