why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
