I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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