singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
