A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
