Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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